Why You Attract What You Can’t Stand: The Love-Hate Truth of the Descendant

You know those people you’re weirdly drawn to…even though they push every one of your buttons?

That’s not random. That just may be your Descendant at work.

In astrology, your Ascendant—your rising sign—is what was coming over the horizon the moment you were born. It’s literally the first light. It’s where sky touches earth. Where spirit touches body. It represents your identity, your I-AM-ness.

But the Descendant? That’s the exact opposite point on the chart. That’s where the sun was most absent—your blind spot. It shows up in the 7th house, the house of relationships. And here’s the kicker:

“The Descendant is the opposite energy of what I embody. It’s something that I’m weak in, naturally. And because I’m weak in it, I attract people who are like that to help balance me out and alchemize it.”

The 7th House Isn’t About You—It’s About You With Others

The 1st house is your personal self. The 7th house is how you show up in relationship. It’s not just who you attract, but also how you act when you’re no longer just “me,” but “we.”

“Who you are with another forces you to embody a different side of you.”

Let’s say you’re a Libra Rising. You’ve got charm, relational wisdom, and a natural gift for balance. But your Descendant is Aries. So what do you attract?

“Highly selfish, autonomous, individuated, hard-headed people. Martian people. Aries people. They don’t have to be Aries, but they have those traits.”

You might think: Why do I keep ending up with these intense, dominant people?

Because that’s your karmic growth.

“I’m very Libra... but I attract combative people into my life, and that gives me something to harmonize and balance. And through my partners, I learned how to become more assertive. I wasn’t always this assertive... I had to learn that because I was way too relational.” -Starlite The Oracle

The Descendant Is a Mirror—Not a Match

Here’s the painful truth:

“We have this love-hate relationship with our Descendant.”

You need what they bring…but you resist it. That’s the paradox. You crave harmony (Libra), but attract "chaos" (Aries). You want connection (Pisces), but attract criticism (Virgo). You want mystery (Scorpio), but attract comfort (Taurus).

“It’s not just about attracting something—it’s about becoming something you’re uncomfortable being.”

And don’t expect to master this overnight. Also for quick reference on how to find your Descendant by using your Rising, your Ascendant placement:

Ascendant → Descendant Pairings

Ascendant (1st House) Descendant (7th House)

Aries Libra

Taurus Scorpio

Gemini Sagittarius

Cancer Capricorn

Leo Aquarius

Virgo Pisces

Libra Aries

Scorpio Taurus

Sagittarius Gemini

Capricorn Cancer

Aquarius Leo

Pisces Virgo

The Descendant vs. The North Node: Two Paths of Evolution

Now, while your Descendant shows your relational blind spot, your North Node shows your soul’s future. It’s your growth edge—the destiny that pulls you, whether you like it or not.

“South Node is an energy you’ve mastered in a past incarnation... Your North Node feels uncomfortable—it’s pushing you into something new.”

When do we actually become our North Node?

“Human Design says 45. That’s when it finally blooms. You don’t really master it until then.”

It tracks. Your early life is mostly subconscious programming and rebellion. Your 30s? You’re finally reckoning with the weight of reality. By your 40s, you’ve either course corrected or you’re spiraling down.

“If a man hasn’t made anything of himself by 50… more than likely, he’s never going to.” -Vesuvius The Dreamweaver

Final Mic-Drop: Neuroplasticity, Identity & Rewiring

The astrology doesn’t lie. But neither does neuroscience.

“If you don’t give your brain new tracks to switch between, you’ll find it seemingly impossible to get off the one you’ve always run.”

In other words: Your shadow patterns will harden unless you choose growth. But if you stay curious, explore new perspectives, and use tools like astrology, psychedelics, or even real conversations with partners as mirrors?

“That’s how you rewire the grooves. That’s how you change your life.”

This is why we do what we do at #YES2U—to help you evolve consciously.

To stop running the same damn track. To stop attracting the same lessons and pretending they’re just “bad luck.” To finally say YES to the uncomfortable parts of yourself—because that’s where the magic lives.

Join the movement at yes2u.org and check out our resources because when you say YES to the real you, your whole world shifts.