Building the Relation-Ship of Your Dreams

Let’s get one thing straight: There’s no outright hierarchy in love. At least, not if you actually want intimacy, trust, and expansion in a conscious relationship.

The old system? Outdated. The whole “he’s the captain, she’s the obedient supporter,” model? It’s a sinking ship unless you both know what the hell you’re doing—and why you’re doing it.

What we need now are conscious partnerships built on complementary strengths, mutual vision, and a shared commitment to growth. Not some one-size-fits-all relationship dogma about who’s “supposed to lead.”

Here’s what it takes to build something real—and why you have to test the relation-ship before you set sail.

⚓ 1. No One Gets the Wheel by Default — Especially Not Because of Genitals

“You can’t have hierarchy in relationships. And I think this speaks to the core of women’s complete rejection of traditional structures within marriages…You’re bringing hierarchy into relational dynamics.”

Just because someone owns a penis doesn’t mean they automatically get to be the captain. Just because someone owns a vagina doesn’t mean they should shrink and soften.

Those are social scripts. Not spiritual truths.

“We already know what happens when women submit to men. What do you think we fought so hard for? You want us to go back?”

No thanks. Now can a healthy archetypal masculine man do a great job at leading? Sure, however, not only are they in short order, but there's so much more nuance to relationship dynamics in reality.

🔍 2. Test the Ship Before You Trust the Captain

“You don’t just trust someone because they say they’re a captain. You test it. You rock the boat. You see how they respond under pressure.”

Smart women test the integrity of the vessel before climbing aboard. That’s not “nagging,” it’s wisdom.

“I’m not going to trust you just because you claim to be a captain. I’m going to inspect the ship. I’m going to ask—‘Does this engine even work? Do these sails hold up? How do you respond to storms?’”

If he crumbles, blames you, or pretends there won't ever be a storm—he’s not a captain. He’s a liability.

👣 3. Accolades Are Earned, Not Assumed

“Just because you say you’re a man doesn’t mean anything. We’ve lost the connotation that comes with it. Where are your accolades?”

Respect isn’t gendered. It’s earned through lived experience.

If you’ve built businesses, raised children, healed trauma, survived hell and still show up in integrity? That’s your badge. Wear it.

“I have skill sets and things I’ve done that would typically be masculine. That has nothing to do with my gender. That has everything to do with my accolades.”

We don’t follow titles—we follow fruit.

❤️ 4. Are You Both Saying Yes to Each Other?

Here’s the most important question in any relational dynamic:

Are we good for each other? Are we helping each other say YES to ourselves?

If it’s all one-way? That’s old world.

“That’s the old system… hierarchy shit of like, ‘What can I get from you?’ In real partnership, it’s both. I help you say YES to you, and you help me say YES to me.”

Your ship doesn’t sail without alignment. And alignment means:

• Shared values

• Mutual direction

• Complementary strengths

• And trust in each other’s lane

“Sometimes I take the helm. Sometimes you take the crow's nest. That’s just smart.”

🧭 5. Define the Mission Before You Set Sail

You don’t get on a boat without knowing where it’s going. That’s how people end up shipwrecked in “situationships” wondering where it all went wrong.

“What’s your destination? What do you want out of life? Do you want the same things? Are you equally yoked? Do your strengths and weaknesses complement?”

These are the real compatibility questions. Not “do we have chemistry?” But: can we build? Can we endure? Can we go the distance together?

And if one of you just wants a pretty boat to pose on for Instagram while the other is trying to explore new worlds, forget it.

“Someone’s spirit is going to die in that relationship.”

Don’t confuse appearance with alignment. Don’t get on the boat just because the captain talks a big game.

Final Thought: Know the Role You Want—Not the One You Were Told to Play

Forget the gender roles. Forget what you were told a man or woman is supposed to be. Just ask:

“What kind of person do I want to be in this life? What’s my truth? What’s my liberation?”

When both of you are clear on that—and when the structure of the relationship reflects respect, self-awareness, and sacrifice—that’s when it works.

You don’t need to submit. You don’t need to dominate. You need to co-lead and understand each other's assets, wisely designating when each person is meant to take on what task. Otherwise...

Don’t even get on the boat.

🚨 Want more raw relationship truths?

Join the movement where sovereignty meets real connection. Explore our unapologetic blogs, podcast, and digital magazine at:👉 www.YES2U.org

Say yes to wisdom. Say yes to alignment. Say YES to you.